This Photographer's Self-Doubt
I’ve been a professional dog photographer since 2016.
When I started I knew nothing. I thought I could buy a nice camera and I’d be a photographer. I thought all it took was the nice camera. (For all of the photographers I’ve offended with this statement, I am sorry.)
I wanted to be a great photographer but I wasn’t. I wasn’t even good.
I was so naive. I had no idea how complicated photography is.
Photography doesn’t come easy to me. Learning how to use my camera, how to edit, and how to see light are all learned skills for me. They don’t come naturally.
So I’ve worked really hard at it.
But I still have so much self-doubt.
But please don’t get me wrong. I love it. Like LOVE it.
But I want to be better.
I learn best through practice so I’ve attended several dog photography workshops. The ones hosted by the best dog photographers in the world.
Because of those workshops, I’ve met Charlotte Reeves and Craig Turner-Bullock. They run Unleashed Education and they’re the ones who host the photography challenges I’ve participated in.
The Unleashed Challenges are a great way for me to get out with my camera, take photos, and get feedback from Charlotte and Craig on the photo I submit. Their feedback is invaluable as is the feedback on the other submitted images.
The most recent challenge was “Four on the Floor.”
My goal was to get my dog Jeff out and take photos of him. But for that I need a dog handler and I just didn’t make it happen.
I did however host studio mini sessions recently and I had several photos that could be submitted for the challenge.
Here’s where all this photographer’s self-doubt crept in: I rarely do studio photography. Using flash and then editing the background is totally different than taking photos outdoors.
I am totally fine to do this work for my clients but to submit one of these photos to have it judged? I was totally doubting that.
Guess what?
My photo made the Top 10. I was astonished. I still am as I am typing this.
I also figured I am not the only one who totally second guesses her photography skills.
So I’m putting this out here. I know I am an okay photographer. Maybe even decent. But I want to be better.
Here are some of the reasons why I had all this self-doubt:
I was photographing in a studio I’d never seen before.
There were windows on 2 of the 4 walls in the studio casting shadows in the room.
The floor was high gloss (which I LOVE but this was the first time I’d photographed on floors like this.) I used the spot healing tool a ton on the floor to clean it up.
Look at the space between the rolling backdrop and the floor. Fixing that was going to be a task. Thank God for Generative Fill in Photoshop.
I also used 2 lights directed at the dog. I was concerned that my larger soft box wasn’t big enough to light the entire scene so I used 2… I’m still not sure if that was really right or not.
To anyone reading this whether you’re just starting out or a seasoned photographer, I think as a creative self-doubt is normal. Some of us just experience it more than others. And some of us need to learn to not be so hard on ourselves.
For me it is a tool that helps me get better. It usually motivates me to work more and try to do better.
It does at times feel overwhelming and defeating but I try really hard to keep it in perspective and use it as a tool to help me.
Perhaps this is silly to some but I really believe I found “my why” when I discovered photography. It means that much to me.
Want to read about how I found my why? Here are a few blogs I’ve written about why I became a dog photographer and what photographing my clients’ dogs means to me.
Now do I want to sign up for Embark and start a new 6 month challenge? That is the question (and I think the answer is yes!)